Here are some of the stories, poems, comments and pieces of art that women who have been with Flat Out have kindly allowed us to use. Thank you to all women who have contributed.

I’m afraid of the system and its decisions
Because I’ve never been helped before
It’s like I don’t have a voice
They just want to ignore
Why me? Why should I suffer any more?
I shouldn’t, I did no wrong,
They did, when I was mauled
Mauled by a pack of women
Behind these four walls
Brutally bashed, stabbed and ten years later
I’m still fighting
Fighting for my equal right not to be ignored
I have a gorgeous one year old
Who I just want to hold
But I can’t
Because I’m in protection for something the prison ignored
Yes, I’m in prison for the mistakes I made
But why shouldn’t I have the equal right to apply,
Apply to have my child with me
Just as women do out in mainstream

M

Soozi's Story

Back in the year of 2000 my little dog of 12 years, Fifi had to be put down but I did not get my usual vet because they couldn’t come for hours so I rang a local vet from the newspaper.  This vet was a real arsehole being abusive to me and as I later learnt he was on his last warning from the vet association.  I felt Fifi died without any dignity. 
Then eight weeks later my marriage of twelve and half years and two children came to an end after twelve months of problems.  A month after that I found out my husband had another woman and that my brother had HIV.  I started drinking heavily and dabbling in speed and then a long lost friend reappeared in my life and he was going through a marriage break up and all the rest.  He too had addictions but had been clean for eight years up until his marriage break up.  During this period there was hope that my ex and I would get back together but this did not happen due to the woman he was seeing soon after our break up.  I did not take this very well and one night I got pissed and ended up having sex with my long lost friend.
From here on we fell in love and started using speed and drinking alcohol.  One night I went to score but couldn’t get speed and came home with heroin.  The heroin felt good as it blocked everything out and we were doing that right up until I overdosed and nearly lost my life and my leg.  I was in a coma for three weeks and the hospital told my mother that I would be on dialysis for the rest of life, that is, if I pulled through.  So, I felt real lucky and when I got out hospital we did not use for four months.
I lost my house and my stuff was at my mother’s home.  My mother blamed my partner for my overdose and kicked me out because I was still seeing him.  After this I was living in the back of my partner’s car for about two weeks.  We needed to get a house quickly because of my kids.
We started using again and I went into a psychotic state because my dealer was ripping me off as I reckon the drug was ice.  My partner was struggling at the time and was drinking more and using drugs.  My partner overdosed and died I didn’t want to live and tried hanging myself in the garage where he used to hang out.  The rope gave way and gave me rope burns.  My mother noticed my neck marks and rang the Crisis Assessment Treatment Team (CAT) and was committed for three weeks to a psyche ward.  I continued to try to kill myself and I asked my mother how to do it successfully ‘cause I wanted to be with my partner.  She told me drive over a cliff.  I thought this was a good idea and did it.  Then I just deteriorated and went off the rails.  It just snow balled.  I started working the streets to support a $450 (min) day habit.
The kids had gone to live with their father and I went down, down, down living on the streets, in a car, in squats. 
One night I got pilled up and the next thing I know is that I did two armed robberies with a blood filled syringe.  I got 10 months jail and 14 months parole.
On release I went to mum’s, then she kicked me out and I was homeless again.  It was then that I rang Flat Out to help me.  They arranged for me to go to Gateways (Crisis refuge) and then into a transitional property.
Within less than 12 months I moved into ministry housing.  Flat Out helped out with removals and furniture.
I have not used heroin for about 12 months and I have my son in my full time care and my daughter lives with her father but I see her regularly.